


Pink

by mxartbotboy



Series: The Typist and the Agent [17]
Category: Narcos (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Cum Eating, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Javi does in fact know how to dance, M/M, Minor Degradation, Office Sex, Secret Relationship, Tags to be added, Work Stress(TM), handjobs, minor safe breathplay, morning softness, shenanigans in the storage room, there’s some yearning here, use of a safeword
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-22
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 16:54:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28923894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxartbotboy/pseuds/mxartbotboy
Summary: Javier Peña has always thrown himself into his work. You knew that getting into a relationship with him. But following the arrest of Gilberto Rodriguez, things seem to be getting worse instead of better, and you do your best to wrestle with what that means for you and Javi.~~Set during the events of season 3
Relationships: Javier Pena/Male Reader, Javier Peña/Reader
Series: The Typist and the Agent [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1831069
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35
Collections: The Story of Javi/Male Reader





	1. Deep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mochaaaa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochaaaa/gifts).



The news spread like wildfire through the office. It started with a live news channel that someone had happened to switch on and them pointing to the man being led away from the small airplane, “Hey, isn’t that Gilberto Rodriguez?” And then the first report got faxed through. And the next, and the next, and soon the whole office was a chatter about the Cali godfather’s arrest.

You knew it was Javi before the first report even came in. He had left early that morning to catch a flight, although he wouldn’t say where, just that he wouldn’t be in until later. As you watched the news channel over the shoulders of some of the other office staff, arms crossed, you felt nothing but relief. It wasn’t like Escobar, not some rooftop chase and shootout. That was something you always worried about, especially when Javi went out and didn’t say where he was going. But from what was coming in, it had sounded like the plan had gone nearly as well as it could have, without a shot fired. The crowd was eventually shooed back to their desks; the paperwork coming in from this would be no small feat.

The only one who didn’t return to his desk was Stoddard. “I’m getting some champagne,” he said eagerly, slinging on his suit jacket, “We’ll toast to Peña when he gets back.”

You held your tongue, thinking wryly about the look on Javi’s face at the whole office raising plastic glasses to him. He would be pleased, no doubt, but he hated the attention he got from the office staff and would probably try to wave it off more than anything.

Turning back to your computer, you had only pulled up whatever you were working on for a moment before your cellphone, sitting openly on your desk, began to buzz. At first, you don’t realize it’s yours, your attention sinking back into your work, but as the buzzing continues you glance down and seeing it skittering across the desk. You frown, and pick it up, flipping it open to see who it could be.

“Querido? Who’s that?”

You jump and fumble with your phone as Trevor leans in behind you, peering over your shoulder at the contact name.

“No one. Uh…” You push your chair back, manoeuvring around Trevor as he takes a sip of his coffee, “Nephew. It’s my nephew.”

Trevor raises an eyebrow and you try to give a nonchalant shrug, heart pounding, “We’re close.” You take a step back, jerking your thumb over your shoulder to the hall, “I’m, I’m gonna take this, might be important.”

You turn on your heel before you can see whatever Trevor’s reaction is to your sudden departure and you duck out, answering the phone still buzzing in your hand.

“Hey.”

_Hey, you still at the office?_

“Yeah. Is everything okay?” A flash of worry runs through you and you glance over your shoulder to the office. No one seems to be missing you, at least for now.

_Fine, everything’s fine. Meet me upstairs, second floor down the hall, second to last office on the right._

“Okay.” You still weren’t entirely convinced and Javi says a rushed goodbye before hanging up. Steadying yourself with a breath, you flip your phone closed and slip it into your pocket, before heading up the concrete stairs to the second floor.

There aren’t as many people up here, being mostly single offices for the higher ups, with some of the offices further down the hall emptied for renovations. You follow Javi’s directions, down the hall until you reach the second to last office on the end. The blinds to the door’s window had been drawn and when you twist the doorknob, it doesn’t move. Locked.

You tap gently with your knuckles, unsure if you have the right office or not, before you hear a click and the door opens. Stepping through, Javi quickly closes the door behind you and locks it again, twisting and leaning against the door.

With a small smile, you step forward, holding out your hands, “Hey you.”

Javi takes them and pulls you in, letting you step close, “We did it.”

“ _You_ did it,” you remind him, resting one hand on the side of his neck, “I’ve seen the reports, it was your plan.”

Laughing lowly, Javi slips his arms around your waist, “It almost didn’t work. I thought the damn cops were going to shoot us at the air base.”

“What?” You lean back, a coil of anxiety knotting in your stomach, “I didn’t see anything about that.”

“Hey. I’m okay.” Javi slides his hands up the back of your suit jacket and hugs you close, tucking his face into your neck, “We got out. It worked.”

The knot didn’t just simply undo itself at Javi’s reassurances, but you pushed it away as Javi hugged you tighter, nosing up the side of your neck until he was eye to eye with you. His moustache tickled your nose and before you could help yourself, you closed the distance and kissed him.

First, it was slow and soft, with you cradling his face in both hands and him pressing his palms flat to your back. Your lips move against his in a gentle rhythm, your thumbs stroking his cheekbones and just relishing the feel of his skin under yours. But then Javi tilts his head and pushes forward, his tongue sliding into you mouth and making you forget all about being soft.

Javi’s grip on you tightens and he steps forward, walking you back until your legs hit the bare desk in the centre of the room. He runs a hand up your chest, tugging your tie loose and unbuttoning the top of your shirt as his mouth descends, latching onto the base of your throat. You make a small noise, hands moving down to dig into his belt. His hips jerk into them, muffling a groan into your skin.

“Gotta stay quiet,” he gasps, lifting his head back up to kiss you again. It thrills you to think that Javi wants you right here, right now, groaning softly into your mouth as his fingers fumble at your belt. You work at his, pulling his cock out first; it’s already hard as if he were anticipating this and you stroke it, swallowing his moans.

“You like that?” you whisper, pressing your thumb along the underside, “You like it when I touch you like this?”

“ _Fuck_ , I need–” Javi manages to get your hardening cock out and your mouth opens at the touch, “Need to feel you.”

With a firm hand, he presses his cock to yours and wraps your hand around both of them, moving it up and down slowly. You thrust your hips up into the grip, loving how Javi’s hand covers yours, and love even more the drawn out noise that Javi makes as you continue to rub your cocks together. He’s breathing hard and presses forward even more, trapping your hands between your bodies. A sudden pinch at your navel makes you wince and you pull back as much as you can, “Javi, your watch.”

With hurried, careless fingers, Javi undoes the clasp and yanks it off, tossing it onto the desk before replacing his hand again, squeezing tightly around yours. Your other hand moves up to grip at the back of his neck, tipping his head so your foreheads touch together.

“ _Ch-chico_ ,” he breathes, gripping the edge of the desk behind you. He grinds his hips up and groans, “ _Please_.”

“I got you,” you murmur back, taking over the rhythm of his fist, “I got you.” You could feel the tension in his neck and you give a light squeeze as you pump your cocks together. A shudder runs through his shoulders and he sucks in a breath; his face is so close you can feel his eyelashes brushing yours, and you slide your fingertips up into his hair. His other hand is gripping the desk too, and he uses it as leverage to roll his hips up erratically. The friction sends heat washing through your stomach and you speed up your hand.

“I’m–”

“Come on, Javi, come for me.”

Javi presses forward in a sloppy kiss, snapping his hips up and moaning loudly in his throat as a warm wetness spills over your fist. Slowing your hand, you pull out of the kiss and nose along his cheekbone, running a thumb over his jaw in soothing strokes.

Javi swallows and opens his eyes, “You– you need…?”

“It’s okay.” You lift you hand away with most of the cum and hold it up between you, bringing it to your mouth, “I can wait.”

At the first flick of your tongue, Javi’s eyes widen and he watches as you clean your hand, enjoying the thick, musky taste. It certainly does nothing to ease your cock, still hard and hanging out of your pants, but you lick the whole thing, down to the spaces between your fingers.

“I love it when you do that,” Javi says with only a touch of awe in his voice, dragging a hand over your length, “Are you sure?”

You gulp and shiver at the touch, but you grab his wrist and pull it away, “They’ll be wondering where I am. And don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Javi sighs, resting his head on your shoulder, “Yeah. Crosby.”

“Well you’d better get going then.” You tuck him, and then yourself away before smoothing out the shoulders of Javi’s shirt, “You just owe me for later.”

Cupping your face, Javi gives you a dizzying kiss, the kind that’s soft and gentle and full of something more all at once. You sigh into it, curling your hands around his shoulders and holding him close until he carefully breaks it. You can feel it in him; he doesn’t want to go. And you don’t want him to go either. You’d happily stay here in this empty office forever with him if you could, hidden away from everything and everyone. Because once you stepped back out into the hall, he would be Agent Peña again and you would just be another office staff.

Finally, Javi steps back. Your hands trail down his arms and you take his hands in yours, holding them loosely.

“They’re all waiting for me downstairs, aren’t they?”

You chuckle at the grimace on Javi’s face, “Stoddard bought champagne.”

“Of course he did.” He exhales a heavy breath and your hands drop away. Tired. He looks tired, as if the victory from today had already slipped away into the eddy of other thoughts, other worries, other godfathers to catch. It wasn’t over yet.

You gesture to the door and cross your arms, “You go first, I’ll slip in after.”

Javi nods, and turns towards the door, his posture more than a little bit reluctant. Your gaze falls down onto the desk, landing on the watch that had been abandoned there.

“Javi!”

He looks over his shoulder and you approach, holding it out to him, “Don’t forget this.”

Taking it from you, the tips of his fingers brush against yours and your hand dives forward to catch the back of his hand, pulling him in one more time. “I love you,” you say, giving a small smile, squeezing his had in what you hope is a reassuring manner.

With a nod, Javi steps back, fiddling with the watch, “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you.”

You don’t take your eyes off him as he unlocks the door and leaves, quietly closing it behind him. Going back to the desk, you settle back against it to wait, glancing down at your own watch as the seconds tick past. Somehow you thought there would be more relief from Javi than this. But then again, you knew as well as Javi did that the job never ended with the arrest.

Five long minutes passed before you decided it was alright to leave. The hallway was empty, and you make your way to the stairwell and back down to the second floor. The office is abuzz with people passing around half filled cups, with Stoddard at the centre of the throng with a bottle.

You scoot around the group to get back to your desk. Trevor leans over, holding out a cup, “Here, I swiped one for you when Stoddard was being generous.”

“Thanks.”

You take the cup and give an obligatory sip, trying not to wrinkle your nose at the bitter taste. Trevor grins, leaning back in his seat, “Yeah, Stoddard has shit taste. You missed Peña totally brushing him off by the way.”

“Oh yeah?” That explained Javi’s absence, which was noticeable among the staffers gathered around Stoddard. He must’ve used Crosby as an excuse to pass on a drink– typical. You hold back a smile to yourself and set the cup down on your desk.

“How’s your nephew?”

You blink, looking over at Trevor, “What?”

“Your nephew,” Trevor holds his hand up to his ear, mimicking a phone, “The phone call.”

“Oh, uh…” You clear your throat and direct your attention back to your computer screen, “Fine, he’s fine.”

Trevor doesn’t say anything else, but you feel his gaze on you for a bit as you try and focus on the words in front of you. Thankfully, he accepts it, and the bustle of every one returning to their desks with champagne in hand dies down into quiet office chatter.

Javi reappears once, stalking into his office briefly before leaving with a suit slung over his shoulder. You try not to stare as he walks by; he has a look on his face like he just ate something sour and not even Stoddard tries to stop him as he leaves the office.

One thought enters your mind as he leaves, and you wish you could say it out loud:

_Good luck_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here's the next installment of my plot/smut nonsense. There is definitely a lot of emotional plot going on this time, but I hope you stick around for that as well as the spicy times. 
> 
> find me on tumblr at [mxartbotboy](https://mxartbotboy.tumblr.com), come say hi!


	2. Every Kind of Way

“You’re up early.”

Javi glances over his shoulder as he pours his coffee, giving a small shrug, “Couldn’t sleep.”

Draping your suit jacket over one of the kitchen chairs, your loose tie swinging around your neck, you frown. This was the second night in a row that Javi had gone to bed after you, and was up before your alarm. Ever since he had returned from his trip to Curaçao, you had vague memories of him curling an arm around you in the middle of the night, but no more than that.

You walk over to stand next to Javi, reaching up to open the cupboard, “Thanks for making coffee.” He gives a grunt in response and you bump your hip against him. That brings out a sly smile and you shake your head, pouring your own cup, “I should know better than trying to talk to you before coffee.” The radio on the counter crackles slightly and then comes back, a man’s voice rambling away in Spanish that sounds like some kind of advertisement.

“You think this is my first cup?” Javi walks over to the kitchen table and pulls out a chair, “I’ve been up since four.”

“Four?” You sit down next to him, “What time did you go to bed?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

Whatever it was that was keeping him up, it did matter. You could see it in the distant look in his eyes, and the way he tapped his heel that told you he was craving a cigarette. You hadn’t seen him like this in a long time. Even then, even back when you both were holed up in Medellín hunting Escobar, it had never been this bad.

You reach out and place a hand on his wrist. He looks up, questioningly, and you open you mouth and then close it again. Turning to face you more, Javi places his free hand on top of yours, “Everything okay?”

“What happened in Curaçao?”

Javi sighs, “You shouldn’t even _know_ about Curaçao.”

“Well I do and something clearly happened.”

He takes a moment, clearly trying to get his thoughts in order. A part of you feels bad for asking; Javi was right in that you shouldn’t have known where he had gone in the first place. But it had slipped out when he came home very late a couple nights ago, seemingly by more than just his need to sleep.

“There was a witness,” he started, staring down at the table, “I was trying to get. Didn’t pan out the way I wanted.”

Of course. You rub a thumb over his wrist bone, “You’ve got other leads though, right?”

“Maybe.” He pulls his hand away to take another sip of coffee. The way he says it doesn’t sound hopeful though, and you wish he could tell you, really tell you what was going on sometimes. It didn’t feel like enough to just be here for him, not with the way he looked more run down as each day passed.

Behind you, the yammering of the radio station host’s voice gave way to music, some kind of vallenato song that the local stations were fond of playing, especially in the mornings. As soon as the cheerful voice of the man singing started, an idea popped into your head, and you pushed your chair back, tugging on Javi’s arm.

“Dance with me, _querido_?”

“What?” Javi stands, but with a confused look on his face. Pulling him forward, you place his hand on your shoulder and slip your own around his waist, crinkling his navy suit jacket. Clasping his other hand, you begin a swaying step roughly in time with the music, leading Javi away from the table.

Javi raises both eyebrows, looking down at your feet and then peering back up at you, “Have you danced a day in your life?”

Trying a dramatic spinning step, you stumble a little, but straighten up, holding Javi close, “Not a single one.”

At that, Javi chuckles, bringing back that warm smile that you loved. “Here,” he lowered his arm to wrap around your waist, pressing you fully against him, “Hand on my elbow.”

“But I was leading,” you complain, resting your palm on his elbow anyways.

“Then pay attention and maybe I’ll let you next time.”

Javi begins to move in time with the music, taking small steps, letting his body push you back and forth as he gently guides you around the table to the rhythm of the song. Javi isn’t looking at your feet anymore; his eyes are focussed solely on you and for some reason it makes your face warm.

“I didn’t know you could dance,” you say, if for a lack of anything to fill the space between you. It suddenly feels like how it did when you first met, when any glance from Javi had you swallowing down nerves and thinking about it for the rest of the day. It certainly didn’t help that you had Javi’s hips swaying against you and his hand warm around yours.

Javi smiles again, “I can keep a rhythm.”

You make nearly a full circuit around the kitchen before the song fades and Javi comes to a halt. He doesn’t let go of you, though, and for a moment you both just stand there, holding each other. Then you slide your hand up over his shoulder, and he runs his palm over your chest, trailing his fingers over the loose ends of your tie.

“You forgot to tie this.”

You roll your eyes and grip your fingers into the lapel of his jacket, “I didn’t forget, I just didn’t do it yet.”

He chuckles, and with slow fingers begins to loop the tie around itself, “Isn’t this one of mine?”

Freezing under his touch, you give a bashful grin. It was true that the red and blue geometric design tie was Javi’s, but it was the first you had grabbed out of the closet, “I didn’t think you’d notice.”

“I always notice when you wear my clothes.” With a tug, Javi pulls the tie tight around your neck, “I like it.”

Still holding your tie, Javi leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You close your eyes, enjoying the taste of coffee on his lips. It’s slow and lingering the way he moves his mouth against yours and you both enjoy it, leaning into each other’s touch. Until Javi opens his mouth and pushes forward, searching for more. His hands skim up the side of your neck and you mold your body along his. His tongue is wet and heavy in your mouth and you give a low groan, not caring that it’s eight fifteen in the morning and you both have work to be at. For now, it’s only this and you want it to last as long as possible.

After what feels like forever, Javi breaks away, sucking in a short breath. You both sway slightly, the moment interrupted by a much more annoying pop song playing on the radio.

“I should finish my coffee,” you say, although you make no attempt to move away from Javi’s hold.

He taps the side of your neck and then steps back, clearing his throat, “Yeah, we should be heading out pretty quick here.”

Your arms feel empty without him, but you follow him to the table so you can drink the rest of your coffee. You make some toast as well and try to convince Javi to have some, but he insists he already ate. It’s something you hardly believe, but he’s right in that you’ve barely managed to swallow down your toast before you’re heading out the door.

“Wait,” you jog back over to the kitchen and switch the radio off, “Okay, let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something short and sweet before we dive into the meat of the story. I’ve been waiting to bring dancing Javi in for a while so I’m happy that I was finally able to do it. As always, thanks for reading!
> 
> find me on tumblr at mxartbotboy, come say hi!


	3. Nobody Else

Things were getting worse.

It started with a phone call from Javi that you took in the car, sitting in the parking lot of the embassy. Staring straight ahead, you barely processed what he was saying to you.

“What?”

_I don’t think it’s gonna happen, I’ve got something figured out but… I just wanted to warn you. Just in case._

You nearly hang up, feeling an unpleasant flare of heat in your stomach, “Oh, just in case you get shipped back to the States by the end of the day, is that all?”

Javi sighs, his breath crackling over the phone, _I’m not getting sent back if I can help it. Trust me, okay?_

Closing you eyes, you grip the armrest tightly, trying to hold back the onslaught of words you know you’ll regret later. It was too much, but it was better than finding out Javi was leaving at two in the morning.

Your chest expands as you take in a breath and you open your eyes, “I have to go.”

_Okay._ Javi sounds like he wants to say something else, but he just clears his throat and says a gruff goodbye.

“Bye.” You flip your phone closed and lean back in your seat, scrubbing a hand across your face. For a moment, you just watch the stream of people making their way into the embassy, checking their watches, saying good mornings. You’d have to too, the second you stepped out of the car, pretending like a part of you wasn’t about to crumble.

_Trust me_.

You wanted to. You trusted Javi more than you could express in words. What you didn’t trust was the bureaucracy of it all. Bureaucracy is what sent Javi back the first time and it would do it again, merciless and cold. What did it matter that Javi had put more of himself into this job than anyone else, that you had fallen in love with him anyways? What did it matter that you would personally go out and arrest every cocaine dealer in Colombia if it meant that Javi could finally have some peace?

It was a difficult morning, but short. Javi came out of Crosby’s office soon after you had sat down at your computer, Feistl and Van Ness trailing behind him. You couldn’t help watching, trying to read any sign of how the meeting had gone. Stopping at the door to his office, Javi glanced over his shoulder and caught your eye and in a daring moment of interaction, quirked his lips up in a small smile.

Safe. For now.

But then he didn’t come by yours once that week. He called a few times, if only to check in and ask how your day was and absently hum in response to your words. Barely making an appearance in the office, it became clear that something else was going on and this time you weren’t in the loop. Whatever it was, it was making your apartment feel very empty.

You knew it was selfish of you to feel this way. It wasn’t just a normal nine to five here, especially for Javi, and you shouldn’t expect that he would drop everything just to see you. Like all things with the job, this period would pass and he would be back to sitting at your table, eating dinner and laughing at your dumb jokes.

At least, you hoped anyways.

It was the end of the week when you saw Javi again. You had just walked into the embassy, bag slung over your shoulder, when he came walking out of the office. He was dressed in a green shirt and camo pants, unusually casual compared to what he generally wore, and he walked with the purpose of someone looking for something.

He stops dead when he sees you and the look on his face says everything. It’s grim and creased and you don’t hesitate to follow when he turns on his heel, walking down the side hall to where the file rooms were. You just manage to catch him slipping into one of the far ones, and after a quick check behind you to confirm the hall was empty, you go after him.

“What the hell is going on, Javi?” you ask, pushing the door closed behind you and turning the lock. He doesn’t answer, instead stepping in and wrapping his arms around you tightly, pressing his face into the side of your neck. His breath is warm on your skin, and he just holds you, your bag slipping off your shoulder and your arms awkwardly resting at his waist.

“Javi.” Your voice is more gentle this time, and you shift under him, letting your arm free so you can drop your bag on the floor, “ _Querido_ , talk to me.”

Javi pulls back, just enough so he can meet your eyes. “There’s something I have to go do. Something dangerous.”

Your stomach plummets, “How dangerous?”

“Enough that–” he drops his forehead against yours, screwing his eyes shut, “Fuck, I haven’t even–”

You’d never seen Javi like this. Field work here was already dangerous enough, where could he possibly be going?

“I love you,” Javi says quietly, “I don’t tell you as much as I should.”

“You tell me plenty.”

You reach up to stroke the side of his face, leaning back against the door. Silence falls between you both, filled only by your fingers rubbing over his stubble and his soft breaths puffing across your face. The closeness does nothing to ease the worry building up in your throat; it was almost as if Javi was trying to memorize you, to take in every little part of you that he could and you hated it.

“Javier, I–” You’re interrupted by Javi kissing you, hard. It’s desperate and harsh and it’s all you can do to just kiss back under an assault of tongue and teeth. His arms wrap tight around your shoulders, and you can feel his heart pounding in his chest against yours.

“I love you,” he murmurs again on your lips, kissing you and then pulling back briefly for another breath, “Fuck, it scares me how much.”

“Javi, _stop_.”

You shove your hands up between you, pressing them flat against his chest and forcing him back. Panting, you take a moment to catch your breath. Javi watches you, looking like he wants to kiss you again, but you keep you hands firm against him, licking your lips.

“Just come back,” you say finally, brushing a hand across the neckline of his shirt, “That’s all you have to do.”

Javi ducks his head down with a dark chuckle, “That’s all, huh?”

“Hey.” Lifting a hand, you catch the bottom of his chin and turn it up, meeting his gaze, “Yes. That’s all.”

And then you kiss him, soft and sweet this time. He lets you, melting under your touch and opening his mouth. You sweep your hands down his neck and pull him in, cradling his body like he was something precious. His touch moves to your hips, tugging you forward by your belt, and you groan when he pushes a thigh in between your legs. Oh, this is a bad idea, but the worry and tension in your gut mixes with a spike of arousal as Javi deepens the kiss.

Your hands fumble at his pants as he pulls yours open, pushing your shirt out of the way so he can stroke your cock. Hardening under his touch, you roll your hips up into it, rough and quick. It doesn’t take you long to pull him out too and begin to match his rhythm; it’s needy and dirty and all heavy breathing and kissing and not nearly enough, not even close. But it’s what you can manage, and you choke back a moan as you feel it rise up sharply.

“Fuck,” Javi grits out, jerking into your grip, his hand becoming unsteady, “Fuck, oh _fuck_.”

You curl your other hand around his neck, twisting your wrist and biting his lip, “I’m here, _mi querido_ , I’m here.”

Javi sobs into your mouth, muffling the noise as best he can as he comes, shuddering against you. You quickly follow him, gasping wordless pleas not to stop as you shake under the intensity of it.

For a moment, neither of you move, both gulping down mouthfuls of air. Carefully, you pull your hand away, trying not to drip cum on the floor and put your other hand in your pocket. “Let me just…” To your absolute relief, there’s a napkin in there, and you pull it out, wiping your hand clean.

“There’s more in my bag.”

Javi takes a half step back and you bend over, fishing out another napkin from the front pocket of your bag. Straightening, you take his hand in yours and gently clean it off. You kiss his knuckles when you’re done, lingering on the rough skin there. His hand shifts and then he’s cupping your cheek. It’s tender and it makes you swallow hard.

“I’ll call as soon as I can,” Javi says, voice thick.

You cover his hand with yours, “I love you, Javi.” You turn your head to kiss his palm before he steps back so you can pick up your bag.

He leaves with just a glance over his shoulder at you, holding your gaze only for a moment before he disappears through the door. It takes a second for you to collect yourself, adjusting your shirt and running a hand through your hair. You don’t know how you manage it, but you open the door and walk down the hall, feeling like the evidence of Javi is written all over you.

He’s gone when you reach the office. You see Trevor raise an eyebrow at you at your late arrival, but you ignore him, sitting absently at your desk. The day inches by, every minute dragging its feet behind you as you try and fail to focus on getting anything done. Your phone weighs heavy in your pocket; you realize Javi never said how long he’d be gone. How long you should wait before you should start to worry. That fear seemed to be taking care of itself anyways, rooting deep in your mind and refusing to leave no matter what you did.

When finally five o’clock rolled around, you closed down your computer and left before Trevor had the chance to ask if you wanted to grab drinks. The staff usually did at the end of the week but you couldn’t bear the thought of being around other people right now. You hear him call out your name, but you’re out of the office and heading towards the entrance of the embassy without a word.

You scan the parking lot for Javi’s car. It wasn’t like you expected to see it, but a small part of you hoped that maybe he was back already, having slipped in without you noticing. But there was no sign.

It’s a tumultuous, sleepless night. Longer and quieter than the day, you lie awake in bed replaying that morning with Javi over and over again. For a brief moment, you think about how that glance over his shoulder might be the last time you ever see Javi, but you shut that train of thought down before it grew into something you couldn’t control.

At maybe four or five in the morning, though, you’re suddenly jerked awake out of a half daze at a loud ringing. You blink groggily, exhaustion pouring over you as you try and figure out what’s make the terrible noise. It’s repetitive, with an accompanying buzz and…

It’s your phone.

You scramble at the bedside table; you can’t read the display in the dark to see who it is so you clumsily flip it open and press it to your ear, “Hello?”

_Hi._

Relief floods through you in such an intense wave that you feel like you were going to explode, “Javi.”

_I’m sorry I just… wanted you to know I’m okay._

He sounds as tired as you feel and were you more awake, you might have heard the tense edge in his voice, but all you care about in that moment was that Javi was calling you, that you were hearing his voice.

“I’m glad,” you croak, falling back against the pillow.

_There’s still some things I have to take care of, but I’ll see you tonight._

“Tonight,” you echo, eyelids flickering with sleep, “I’ll see you… tonight…”

_Get some sleep, chico_.

You want to tell him to get some too, but the blackness of sleep envelopes you before the words can leave your mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr at mxartbotboy, come say hi!


	4. After Hours

“This your celebration?”

You pause at the door to Javi’s office at the sound of an unfamiliar voice out in the pit. Taking a quiet step back, you hover behind the closed blinds, waiting.

“Kind of a downer. I was hoping for some alcohol.”

Clearly this person didn’t hear about the party that had headed out downtown for drinks about twenty minutes ago. The entire office had been empty, save for you and Javi. You had offered to stay behind, to help organize the flood of reports from the raid that afternoon and to prepare briefings for everyone the next day. Javi had surprisingly accepted your offer, although the cheer from earlier on at catching Miguel Rodriguez seemed to have faded away. You had left him brooding out in the pit to gather some last files from his desk.

“How long have you had them? The tapes Crosby played for me?” Javi’s voice rumbled out, barely audible from where you were standing, but his tone wasn’t friendly to whoever had dropped by, “Oh, let me guess, it’s… it’s complicated.”

Despite the bitterness of Javi’s words, the other person seemed almost nonchalant in their response, “How about I tried to warn you?”

* * *

Eight hours ago, Javi had called you into his office. He had just come out of a meeting with Crosby, and he waved you over from the pit with a call of your name. It was unusual to say the least, and Trevor gave you a look as you stood up.

“What’s Peña want?”

“No idea,” you answered, stepping around your desk. Javi had never called you into his office before, and even being close to Javi right now you could barely contain yourself.

As he had promised, the night before he had come over. Exhausted, he had practically dragged his feet across the doorstep. He didn’t want– couldn’t, talk about it, wherever he had been, whatever he had done, but it seemed to hang over his head like a cloud. Turning down the beer you had offered him, he had quietly said that all he wanted was to go to sleep.

And so you had, pulling him close to your chest and listening to the sound of his breathing. Letting all of your anxieties wash away into the depths of sleep, you stroked his hair and rubbed circles into his arm until he had drifted off. He was still up early, though, murmuring into your sleeping ear that he had a meeting to get ready for. So you hadn’t seen him until now, calling you into your office like this.

Javi gestures at you when you enter, sliding some papers into a file folder, “Close the door.”

Clicking shut behind you, you step forward cautiously, “What’s going on?”

“I need you to do something for me.” Javi approaches, circling around his desk and meeting you halfway. His eyes are bright, alight with a kind of determination that you didn’t see very often. It made him fill the space more, every movement imbued with purpose and focus, and was the opposite of how he had been the previous night, “Crosby’s ordered us to hand over all the files on Cali to the Colombians at five pm today.”

You blink, “Today? Ja– sir, that’s a lot of files.”

“I know. And I need you to head it up.

“Me?” You cross your arms, “Why?”

“Because I trust you when I say this,” Javi places a hand on your arm and gives it a light squeeze, “Take your time.” The touch makes you both pause, something unsaid lingering between you. But now was not the time to say it.

Frowning, you try not to pay attention too much to the touch and let it distract you from what Javi is saying. “But, if we have to have it all ready by five–”

“Like you said, it’s a lot of files.” Dropping his hand, Javi walks past you, brushing your shoulder, “No guarantee it can be finished by five, right?”

He looks over his shoulder and raises an eyebrow. The meaning comes across: _take as long as possible_ , and regardless of why he needed it, you nod. Walking back out to the pit, you watch as Javi joins Feistl and Van Ness waiting in the hall. Neither of them look very pleased at whatever Javi says to them, and they talk back and forth briefly before Javi steps into the elevator.

“What was it about?” Trevor asks, sitting up.

You sigh, slipping off your suit jacket, “They want all the files for Cali ready to give to the Colombians at five.”

“By _five_?” Trevor glanced down at his watch and then back up to you, “That’s gonna take a small army to organize.”

“Then we’d better get started.” Slinging the jacket over the back of your chair, you roll up your sleeves, “I think there’s some spare file boxes in one of the storage rooms.”

* * *

Javi didn’t return until early afternoon. Walking with purpose, he breezed by the bustling in the pit as file folders were passed, boxes were organized, and digital files were printed. You’d wrangled nearly half the office into helping you and you knew it still wouldn’t be enough. What with all the organization systems you’d insisted be put in place. For the benefit of the Colombians, you had pointed out when some of the staff had grumbled.

Glancing over towards Javi’s office, you can just barely make out his figure through the blinds; it looks like he’s on the phone. He speaks on it for a few seconds, and then drops his hand down, probably ending the call. He’s still for a moment, and then you see the familiar movement of him lighting a cigarette. The end flares up brightly and you find yourself standing.

You knock on the door and wait a moment before opening it and peering in.

“Not right now,” Javi says, not looking up from the file folder he’s reading on his desk. He looms over it, pressing both hands down with the lit cigarette hanging from his lips.

Clearing your throat, you close the door behind you and Javi looks up. The drawn look on his face loosens, “Oh.”

“We’re…” You search for anything to say; you’re not even sure why you came in the first place. You gesture meekly to the door and the busy office, “We’re making good progress.”

Javi nods, eyes distant, “Good.”

You’re both silent for a few moments, and then you take a step forward, “Is there anything else I can do?”

A million things flash across Javi’s face. Taking the cigarette from his mouth, he opens it like he’s going to say something, and then closes it again, pensive. Something was going on, that much was clear, from the way he kept glancing down to his cellphone to the cigarette he rolled between his fingers.

You move forward until you’re on the opposite side of his desk, holding his gaze silently. Out of the corner of your eye, the movement of people piling boxes through the office blinds is a blaring reminder that you’re not alone, as much as you wish you could be right now. One of his hands rests idly on the desk and you lean forward, reaching out and placing your hand next to his. From any angle it would look like you were reading something on his desk, but your attention wasn’t on the words below you.

Javi swallows, likely just as aware of the centimetre of space buzzing between your hands. _Don’t forget you’re not alone_ , it says, and you desperately want to hold it. Not just his hand, though, but all of him. You want to wrap him up in your arms and stroke away the worry lines, tell him everything is going to be alright and just hold him.

Straightening, you pull your hand away. The closeness while being unable to touch was unbearable, and disappointment flickers briefly across Javi’s face. Chest aching, you take a step back.

“Come back in an hour,” Javi says quietly, taking a drag. You nod and turn, leaving the office like you’re leaving a part of you behind.

Out in the pit, Trevor is groaning, lifting another completed box into the stack. “Do we really have to organize _all_ of them like this?” he complains, resting his hands on his hips, “Why are we even helping if the Colombians are just taking all our shit?”

“Because,” you say, bringing over another pile of file folders to put on Trevor’s desk, “We still want them to catch these guys, right?” A couple of the other staff reorganizing boxes catch your eye, and they quickly turn their heads when you glance over. You frown, and then sigh, “Listen, everyone,” you say a bit louder, “I know it’s frustrating but if we’re handing everything over, I want it done right. Got it?” There were a few grumbles and a few nods, but the pace seemed to pick up a bit and you turned back to Trevor.

“Did Peña say anything?” Trevor asks as he picks up some files, jerking his head towards Javi’s office.

You blink and shake your head, “Nothing… new.”

Trevor’s eyes linger on the office for a moment before turning back to what he was doing, checking each folder and reorganizing them. “I don’t know, man,” he says, putting them away in the box, “Something’s up. Can you see him pacing in there?”

Looking over your shoulder, you indeed can see Javi’s silhouette wandering around the room, the end of his cigarette flaring up in a bright dot through the blinds. It’s not frantic, but he pauses and then continues again, making a slow circuit around the room in a restless manner. Trevor is still talking, speculating randomly to you as only Trevor does, but you don’t hear it, letting your gaze rest on the shape through the blindfolds.

Turns out, it would take less than an hour for you to find out.

Just as it seemed you were starting to make progress with the now mound of boxes and files filling the pit, the door to Javi’s office opens and he steps out. One hand resting on the door frame, he leans out and the movement has you looking up. His eyes shine brightly and you can see the contained smile brimming on his face. You put the file folder in your hand down, pushing yourself off your desk and crossing the pit towards him, a questioning look on your face. He steps back and you enter, barely turning around to ask him what was going on before the door was being pulled shut and Javi was grabbing your shoulders, grinning.

“We caught Miguel Rodriguez,” Javi says, voice a mix of joy and relief.

“What?” You hear the words, but you don’t really process them, too focussed on how suddenly close Javi is, practically holding you against him as he speaks.

“There was an operation in Cali, I just got the call, we…” He gives your shoulders a shake, “We caught him.”

And then his hands are coming up to cup your face, bringing you in, and kissing you. It’s full of relief and need and happiness and it’s so overwhelming that for a moment you forget where you are. You lift your hands to cover Javi’s, leaning into it as you curl your fingers around his. Then the image of Javi’s silhouette through the blinds flares up in your mind and your eyes fly open, pulling back with a jerk. Javi blinks, his touch lingering on your face before dropping his hands down to hang limply by his sides.

You clear your throat, “That’s great. Really, it’s– it’s great.” The swell of disappointment in your stomach is hard to ignore, but you give Javi a smile anyways, trying to focus more on the incredible feat it was to be catching Miguel Rodriguez.

“Anyways, uh–” Javi rests his hands on his hips and looks over his shoulder, “No need to keep organizing out there.”

You can’t help it; you laugh, a low chuckle as you shake your head, “Of course. I spend all day pep talking everyone and you go and catch him instead.”

At that, Javi does smile, and he places a hand on your shoulder, giving a small squeeze, “I’ll let you tell them the news.” His touch lingers for a second longer than maybe it should, the warmth of his hand seeping through the fabric of your shirt. It wasn’t fair and it twisted tightly inside you as he pulled his hand away.

“We’ll celebrate later,” you say lowly, brushing past him gently.

“Yeah.” Javi’s gaze trails after you, and you lock eyes with him, hand resting on the door handle. He sighs, and then nods firmly, turning to go back to his desk.

You take a deep breath and then exit the office, raising your voice over the chatter of the office, “Alright everyone, change of plans…”

* * *

“Like you’ve never cut a corner to get to the front of the line.”

You were almost afraid to breathe. Not that it would be strange to see you coming out of Javi’s office, but at the mention of Crosby and tapes, you’d immediately gotten the impression that this was a conversation you were not meant to hear. You wish you could see what was happening out in the pit, but from where you were standing, the blinds block any view of who was standing out there.

“Question is: what you do when you get there? There’s always gonna be new bad guys to fight, Agent Peña– we makes new ones every day.” The voice paused, “But, any way you slice it, you’re the agent who put cuffs on two Cali godfathers. No small feat. Go on.” A silence stretches out, long and tense, “You’ve earned it.”

That’s when you hear the footsteps and watch as Javi passes by the door to the office, a hard look on his face. You wait, chest thumping, for a few terse seconds before carefully opening the door and peering through. The pit was empty, the mysterious person gone. Worried about someone else, you look down the other way, towards where Javi had gone. The hall went nowhere, ending in a few more offices and the washrooms.

Dropping the files in your hand off in your pit, you go down the hall and gently poke your head into the washroom. Javi is standing over one of the sinks, his hands gripping the side, water dripping down his face. You step in, letting the door swing closed behind you. Javi doesn’t look up. Walking over, you place a hand on his back, “Okay?”

Javi gives a dry laugh and then straightens, reaching over and yanking out a paper towel from the dispenser. “I guess,” he says, drying his face.

“Who was that?”

Javi tosses the paper towel into the trash and then turns to you, “No one I want to talk about now.” And with that, he steps forward, tugging you in against him. You cup his shoulders, tense in his arms. It’s lovely to feel him and to have him close after such a long day, but a discomfort still hangs over you.

He searches your face and you breathe out, a breath you’d maybe been holding since Javi first smiled at you, “Are you afraid of getting caught?”

Javi’s grip on you tightens and he leans in to touch his forehead to yours. “No,” he says. resting a hand on the side of your neck. You wondered if that’s what Miguel Rodriguez had thought this morning. But Javi was firm and solid under your touch and you believe him. So you close the distance, pressing your lips to his in a kiss, careless and light. Turns out, it was like lowering the dam for Javi; his mouth opens beneath yours and he pulls you in tighter. And with every moment of his lips on yours, you believe him more.

It was when his hands began wandering, when the kissing became breathless and needy that you pull away, panting, “Take me home.”

“Hmm, don’t like it in a dingy washroom?” Javi asks with a half-grin, straightening your suit jacket.

You trail your fingers down his tie and kiss his cheek, “Not particularly, no.” And you link your hand with Javi’s, believing him even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope people are continuing to enjoy this- I know it’s starting to get a bit more plotty but I really couldn’t help myself. Season 3 Javi really just needed someone and I am here to deliver.
> 
> find me on tumblr at mxartbotboy, come say hi!


	5. Focus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ADDITIONAL WARNING* I know this is already tagged, but I want to make it clear that during this chapter their safeword is actively used, and it is a bit of an emotionally intense moment. Please read with care.

He was being too gentle with you.

The heat from earlier had dissipated in the ride home, Javi’s attention turning to more brooding thoughts as he navigated the evening traffic. You could see it in the way he tapped the steering wheel, in the way that he rubbed at his chin and glanced out the window at every stop light. His mind was elsewhere, somewhere far away and distant. You knew it was because of that conversation you had overheard in the office. You didn’t understand the context behind it, but whatever it was, whoever that person had been, it had put a significant damper on Javi’s mood at catching Miguel Rodriguez. And it was lingering, all through the drive home, all the way up to his apartment, and now in the way that he was kissing you.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Javi had pulled you into his lap, shrugging off his suit jacket and pulling off yours, letting his fingers drift over the folds of your shirt, teasing at the skin beneath. He’d pressed his lips to your throat and you tipped your head back, gripping at his tie and breathing heavily as his touches hovered and brushed. You didn’t mind it; having his hands on you after so many close encounters earlier in the day was wonderful, but you could practically hear the gears grinding in his head. Even as he plucked at the buttons of your shirt, there was a distractedness in it. You needed to change that.

“Javier.” You caught his hands in yours and leaned back, meeting his eyes. Javi blinks, frowning as you push yourself off his lap.

“What’s the matter?” he asks, trying to push himself up to follow you. You place a hand on his shoulder, keeping him sitting.

“Nothing, just… watch.”

With sure fingers, you finish undoing your shirt and shoulder it off, letting it drop to the floor around your feet. You press your hands to your chest, dragging them down slowly across the planes of your stomach to your belt. Gooseflesh breaks out across your arms, a combination of your own touch and Javi’s eyes on you, darker and brighter than they were a moment ago. He swallows as your thumb runs over your belt buckle before tugging it open, making each movement deliberate. Before you even touch the button of your pants, you slide your hand down and palm yourself, rocking your hips into it. You let out a low hum, tracing a finger along your waistline and part your lips as you give another squeeze. Javi now looks like he’s ready to pounce on you, but he stays where he is, hands buried in the duvet beneath him. With a smirk, you pop the button and unzip your pants.

“Like what you see?” you ask coyly, turning around and hooking your thumbs in your pants and underwear. In one swift motion, you push both down to the floor, taking care to bend over and stay there as you step out of both. As you straighten, you run your hands over your ass and glance over your shoulder. Javi has his eyes glued to you. Just how you want it.

“Come here,” he murmurs. You comply, stepping forward until you’re between his legs. He presses his palms to your thighs, sliding them up appreciatively towards your hips and then back around to your ass. Leaning forward, his lips brush at the dip of your hipbone before sucking at the skin. You run your hand through his hair and let your eyes drop closed, just for a moment. You could let it be slow like this. But something was already stirring within you and you cup Javi’s jaw, tilting his head up.

You drag your thumb over the corner of his mouth. “I want you to be rough with me,” you say lowly. Javi’s eyes widen the slightest as your hand slips down to wrap around his tie, lifting and pulling on it. He follows you when you step to the side, sitting and then lying down on the bed, moving to hover over you. The tip of his tie pools on your chest and you release it, spreading your legs around him and lifting one of your arms above your head. The other moves to pull at Javi’s hand, pulling it up and pressing it to the base of your throat, “Use me. Please.”

Javi swallows hard. His fingers remain soft around your neck when you pull yours away and he opens his mouth, “Safeword?”

You can’t help the smirk, victory blooming in your chest, “Mandarin.”

“And action?”

“Three taps.”

That’s when you feel the change. His fingers slide up to wrap around your throat, but just pressing enough so you can feel it. Sitting back slightly, Javi runs a hand down your chest and across your stomach before harshly gripping your thigh and pulling, “Legs up.” You do so, pulling your legs up to your chest. The hand around your throat twitches, and you can tell that Javi is thinking. But not about work. About this. About you. About what he’s going to do to you.

You shift your hips impatiently, and you jump when a hand swats down onto your ass. “Can’t wait to get fucked, can’t you?” Javi pushes his fingers up beneath your jaw, making your head tip back, “Fucking slut.” The rumble of his voice makes you whimper, and your throat bobs against his palm as he leans forward, reaching for the bedside table. When he leans back again, his hand disappears for a moment with the click of the lube bottle. His eyes are so dark you can barely make out his pupils and your own drop closed at the feeling of a slick finger at your entrance. At the same time, his hand returns to your throat and he gives a light squeeze as he pushes his finger in all the way.

“That’s right,” he growls when you give a choked gasp, arching your back off the bed. He fucks into you relentlessly, just the one finger sending a thrill up your spine and straight back down to your cock, “You love it up your tight little ass, don’t you?” His fingers press into the sides of your throat and you swallow, digging your fingers into the sheets. You still manage to cock a grin at him, open mouthed and grind your hips down.

“That all you got?”

The hand around your throat moves up, and you would have lamented the loss if it didn’t plant itself firmly over your mouth as he pushes in a second finger. You groan loudly into his palm and lift your hips, chasing the feeling of his fingers inside you. “You be quiet,” Javi hissed. His fingers were tight and harsh around your face, pushing your head back into the pillow, but not far enough that you couldn’t still see him, fully dressed, as he pulled his fingers out and began working at his belt buckle. Fuck, he had barely teased you open, but you wanted him like this, dark and rough and needy. Only focussed on this. Javi stroked his cock a few times, squeezing his eyes shut as he panted, before opening them and pulling the hand on your mouth away.

You blink, trying to push yourself up onto your elbows, but Javi gets a hand under your knee and shoves you back down, spreading the lube he’d poured on his cock up and down his length. “You want this cock?” Javi asks lowly, rubbing the head against your entrance. You whine, pushing your hands up to the headboard and looking down at your own hard cock flush on your stomach, with Javi in between your legs.

“P-please, please Javi- _ah-_ ” The words are barely out of your mouth before Javi is pushing in, leaning into the thrust and seating himself fully. “ _Fuck_ ,” you bite out, reaching up and grabbing at his shirt to pull him in. Laying his full weight on top of you, Javi rocks his hips back and then in again, releasing a long drawn out groan. One of his hands snakes up and roots itself in your hair, pulling your head back almost painfully. That’s when he really starts pounding into you, lifting his hips and slamming them back down, making you cry out in a strained voice. Elbow in the pillow, Javi claps his hand over your mouth again. You make a muffled noise and writhe under him, but with the arch of your neck and Javi on top, you can hardly move or do anything except take what he’s giving you. The metal of his belt slaps into the back of your upper thigh, a stark reminder that Javi hasn’t even taken his pants off properly, and his tie has slid down over your shoulder, tickling the side of your neck.

Your whole body shudders with each thrust, and you can feel the pleasure building up inside of you, but Javi is oddly silent. He’s dipped his head down to your shoulder, and you can feel each panting breath across your collarbone, the scratch of his facial hair on your skin, seemingly focussed on thrusting into you as hard as he can. Twisting your arm, you push your hand down between your bodies, making a show of trying to touch yourself. The hand on your mouth comes off and yanks your wrist up, pinning it to the bed.

“You fucking brat.” Javi jerks his head up, teeth gritted and eyes sharp, “I’m gonna fucking…f-fucking…” His rhythm falters and suddenly, you see it all drain out of his face. Something else flickers across it, panicked and fleeting, and he sags down, his forehead dropping onto the pillow next to you.

“M-mandarin,” he says, breathing hard, “I’m sorry _chico_ , I, I can’t…” He becomes completely still over you and it takes you a moment to realize what’s happening. Worry floods through you hot and tight, burning in your gut, and you pull your hand free from Javi’s now loosened grip, wrapping it around his shoulders to palm the back of his neck.

“Hey, hey _querido_.” You try to urge him up so you can look at him, but Javi clings to you, untangling his fingers from your hair so he can slide his hand under you, holding you close against his chest. He shifts slightly, pulling himself out so you can lower your legs around him, and you feel his full body weight on top of you. Settling for stroking the hair at the base of his neck, your mind races and you stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out what to do. “It’s… it’s okay,” you finally breathe out, concern forming a tight ball in your stomach, “Javi, it’s okay.”

He shakes his head ‘no’ into your neck, and with gentle arms you roll him onto his side. Eyes avert from yours. “It’s okay,” you say again, “You’re okay.” A thought crosses your mind and you place a hand on his arm in what you hope is a grounding touch, “ _I’m_ okay.” At that, Javi lifts his head. Lines cross his face and his gaze is etched with concern and doubt. It’s not a look you like to see and you give his arm a soft squeeze, “Hey. Talk to me.”

Lowering his head down onto the pillow, Javi sighs, closing his eyes, “I just… I’m tired of being angry. And with you, I can’t-” His hand rests on your hip, thumb stroking idly, “I can’t take that out on you right now.”

You shake your head minutely, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“It’s alright, _chico_.”

“Javi.” You cup his face and meet his eyes. You feel like you want to say more, the regret and guilt bubbling up in your throat, but Javi just turns his face and kisses your palm.

“Don’t worry about taking care of me.”

You frown, “Who else is going to, then?”

At that, Javi gives a soft chuckle and covers your hand with his. “Well, you’ve got me there.”

Sighing, you rub a thumb across his cheekbone, the prickle of stubble teasing across the bottom of your wrist, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I,” he lifts your hand away and places it on the pillow between you, “Just tell me you love me.”

Your stomach twists, “I love you, Javi.” At that, he smiles. At least he was smiling. You tip your forehead forward to touch against his, feeling like an idiot, “I really am sorry.” He nods and you both lie there for a moment. He’s closed his eyes again, but you’re watching him, watching the way his shoulders lift ever so slightly as he breathes in, watching his jaw shift as he swallows. The hard lines on his face seemed to have relaxed a little, and for that you’re grateful.

“How about,” you murmur, shifting up onto your elbow, “You change and I’ll make us some dinner, yeah?”

“You mean heat up some canned soup?” Javi grins up at you teasingly and you roll your eyes, swatting his arm gently.

“Listen it’s not my fault you don’t buy anything else. _I_ actually have groceries at my place.”

“And we’ll eat them when we’re at your place.” Javi rolls out of the bed and pulls off his tie, dropping it on the floor. As much as you did love him in a tie, you were glad to see it go. Shedding the last of work and this long, long day. The shirt followed the tie, and then the pants, and you were just about to sit up when Javi climbed back into the bed, naked.

“Javi-” Your words were muffled by a kiss, gentle but firm, lingering on your mouth as a hand traced up your chest. It was sweet and needy all at once and you were a little breathless when he pulled back.

“What about,” you lick your lips, searching his face, “What about dinner?”

“Dinner can wait. If you still want to.” Javi’s hand brushed back down, over your hip and thigh. The heat from earlier sparked back to life and you leaned in.

“How about I take the reins this time?” With a firm hand, you push Javi down onto his back and reach out for the abandoned bottle of lube, settling yourself over his legs. He tucks the pillow under his head as you pour some into your hand and take his cock, stroking him slowly and gently. Letting out a soft groan, Javi’s eyes drop closed and his hips shift up into the touch, his hands gripping at your knees. You tease him back into hardness, pressing your thumb up the underside all the way to the head.

You make a thoughtful sound, your other hand cupping his balls, “Bet I could make you cum just like this.”

“I…” Javi gasps when you squeeze his balls and then drop a finger down to rub at his perineum, “I want you _chico_. Please.”

“Well,” you bend down and place a kiss on his stomach, “I’m sure I can accommodate.”

Shuffling up, you hover over him, rubbing the tip of his cock at your entrance before pushing him in, sinking down slowly. You both let out a long breath, and you place a palm on Javi’s chest to steady yourself. He grasps at your hips, urging you down faster and you let out a small noise as you seat yourself.

“Fuck, that’s good,” you breathe out, letting yourself adjust for a moment. A hand around your cock makes you inhale sharply and you rock your hips gently. Javi continues to stroke you, reaching around to grab your ass and pull at the flesh there.

You rock your hips more insistently, into Javi’s hand and back down onto his cock. He’s opened his eyes again, his lips parted as he watches you ride him, and while he’s quiet, the arousal and need is plain on his face. Thinking of nothing but this, of you taking him just like he wants. You straighten, leaning back on his legs and moan out his name, the new angle grinding into you perfectly. Javi’s stroking becomes more insistent, his eyes never leaving you once.

“Cum on my cock, _chico_ ,” he pants. You can feel him tensing beneath you, his grip on your ass bruising, and you know he’s close too. Bodies moving together, it becomes quicker, more desperate, breaths and moans mingling as you clench around Javi and he pumps your cock. It feels so good, the way he’s rocking up into you now, how his gaze rakes over you and meets yours.

Your rhythm stutters and you gasp, feeling your orgasm curling up rapidly, “Just like that, just like that, oh fuck, _oh fuck_.” Javi lets out a long groan and snaps up into you, pushing you sharply over the edge and tumbling along with you. It shudders through your body, sweeping you up in a litany of soft moans and gasps mixed with Javi murmuring something in Spanish that you don’t understand. You both slow to a halt, breathing heavily. A wonderful sense of bliss rolls through you and you push yourself forward, letting Javi’s cock slip out.

“How was that?” you ask, reaching over to the box of tissues on the bedside table. Javi doesn’t reply, just makes a pleased noise in the back of his throat. He looks like he might fall asleep, and you try not to disturb him as you clean both of you up. When you swing your leg off him, he cracks an eye open, peering with heavy lids as you gather up the tissue and head to the bathroom.

“Soup?” he calls out and you chuckle as you wash your hands. When you return to the bedroom, Javi is up and already pulling a pair of sweatpants on. You walk up to him and gently snap the waistband.

“I’m pretty sure these are mine,” you point out and Javi smiles, brushing a kiss to your cheek.

“You can wear mine then.”

You sigh and Javi gives you another kiss before leaving you to get dressed. You feet catch on the dress pants still lying on the floor and you pause for a moment, staring down.

If only he would shrug off the work as easily as he did a suit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr at mxartbotboy, come say hi!


	6. I Will

_Gone out. Don’t know when I’ll be done but I’ll call. -Javi_

You remember that morning, waking up to a cold bed and a note on the kitchen table. At least Javi left notes now, instead of just disappearing. You had sighed, pulled on a t-shirt, and started making coffee. The pot was dry, so Javi hadn’t even bothered. It was a small thing, but it sat heavy with you as it brewed, filling the kitchen with the scent of coffee.

You remember that morning, but not because anything happened. It was a Saturday, and you filled your time with some laundry and grocery shopping, folding Javi’s shirts away neatly in the drawer you had designated as his and filling the crisper with fresh veggies. By all means, it had been an ordinary day, nothing to write home about. And Javi did indeed call, later that evening, still sounding tired but glad to hear your voice.

_I’m just going to my place but I’ll drop by tomorrow_ , he’d said.

“You sure? I can come over.”

Javi had paused. _Sure_ , was the reply, even though you both knew you wouldn’t be doing anything more than sleeping. Sometimes that’s all you did and somehow it felt more natural to be like that with him, curled up in the darkness with the soft sounds of breathing. You didn’t want him to be alone after the previous night, so you’d grabbed your coat and headed over. An instinct had flashed in your mind and you picked up some food on the way; Javi was never one to remember to eat on the best of days and you’d told him time and time again that he couldn’t fuel himself on cigarettes. When you had walked through the door with the bag of takeout, Javi had given a grateful chuckle, standing up from the couch where he had been drinking a beer.

“Thanks, _chico_.”

Regarding him carefully out of the corner of your eye, you had unpacked the food out onto the table with him. He had seemed tired, but there was somewhat of a relief laced through it, as if the stress from the previous night had been untangled and brushed out. You didn’t ask where he had been that day, but you were glad that whatever it was had gone well.

You remembered that morning because when you went back in on Monday, it was confirmed for you that it had, in fact, gone well for Javi. Guillermo Pallomari was now in the States, ready to act as a key witness to Cornerstone. How Javi had managed to track him down was anyone’s guess, but there was another round of congratulations that Javi had to shake off when the news came in that mornings memos. He was in and out of the office all day, probably debriefing and meeting and filing reports for the higher ups and you only managed to catch him near the end of the day, on your way out of the break room.

“Hey.” You caught his elbow and Javi jerks his head up, drawn out from whatever thought he had been lost in. The hallway was empty, but once you had his attention you drop your hand away, wrapping it around the mug of tea you had just made. “You must be exhausted,” you say, for lack of saying anything else and Javi shrugs.

“Exhausted of bureaucrats, maybe.”

You tap the side of your mug before replying with, “Why don’t we get a drink?” Javi raises an eyebrow. It had been a while since the both of you had gone out anywhere together, and you had certainly never been one to ask. But you had a feeling Javi needed to be out of the office, and not just at either of your apartments. You check your watch, “I can be done for the day if you are.”

Javi gives a small smile, “Sure.”

And that’s how you found yourself in a small bar around the corner from Javi’s apartment, tucked away in the back drinking a beer at four-thirty. You’d passed by it a number of times going over to Javi’s but you’d never actually gone in, and the bartender nodded at the two of you as you walked by. Clearly Javi had.

“So,” you ask, setting your beer down on the table, “Can I expect any more sudden disappearances to rescue surprise witnesses any time soon?”

Shaking his head, Javi pulls out his cigarettes and lighter, “No, that should be the last of them.” His eyes flicker up, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and you give a nonchalant wave of permission. He had started doing that, and even though the bar was already full of cigarette smoke, it warmed you to think that he still held on to his habits from home. Javi clicks the lighter and inhales, the end of the cigarette glowing, “Let’s just hope his testimony sticks.”

“And if it does?”

“Then we got them. For real.”

You think about how many times Javi had said _we got them_. It wasn’t just Escobar, Gilberto, or Miguel. It was the dozens of lackeys with nicknames like Poison, Blackie, and La Quica, all filling the reports one after the other with promises of answers and arrests. But there always seemed to be another one popping up, another one to put on the cork board. You thought back to the conversation you had overheard, the unnamed voice telling Javi _there’s always going to be new bad guys to fight_. Sure, the next few weeks would be collecting and sending evidence, doing everything possible to keep the Rodriguez brothers in jail, but what about after that?

“Javi, why did you start working for the DEA?”

The question took Javi by surprise, making him pause in lifting his drink to his mouth. He pressed his lips together and lowered the bottle, “Why did you?”

You shrug, “The opportunity came up. And working abroad seemed appealing at the time.” You quickly took another drink, feeling warmth creep up the back of your neck. It was true that the reason for your being in Colombia in the first place felt shallow compared to the reasons why a lot of others were there. Some had dedicated their whole careers to catching the Escobars and Rodriguezs of the world and here you were filing paperwork and sleeping in on Saturdays. It never made you feel guilty, but it always made you look at people like Javi and wonder how something like a job had come to consume them so.

“Well,” Javi finally said, rolling the bottle between his hands, “I was the Deputy Sheriff for Webb County when the DEA approached me. We had some agents in on a case in some high-level trafficking going on in Laredo and I guess I impressed them.” Pausing, Javi took a drink, swallowing and licking his lips before continuing, “My sister had gotten into some bad business as a teenager and I think it showed I especially had it out for the coke dealers. That was the kind of enthusiasm they were looking for.”

“Enthusiasm is one way of putting it,” you comment and Javi laughs.

“It sure takes a type of enthusiasm to be a DEA agent, no way around it. And here I am.” He idly picked at the corner of the label peeling off his bottle, the condensation gathering and soaking the paper. Enthusiastic was certainly not how you would have described Javi in that moment. You watch as Javi peels the entire label off and crumples it in his hand, dropping it onto the table. What you saw was a weary man, and in that moment a hot burst of anger flared up inside of you, cursing every person who had saw fit to sell drugs. Wasn’t that the reason you were all there in the first place?

Taking one last drag, Javi stubs his cigarette out in the ashtray on the table and drains the last of his beer. “Why don’t we get out of here,” he said, pushing his chair back and lifting his brows, “I can think of something more fun to do.” The words came with a suggestive wink.

You finished your beer quickly and stood as well, although your thoughts continued to linger with you. In fact, they lingered with you for the rest of the evening, all the way up until it was dark and you were lying in bed staring up at the ceiling. The light from the street cast shadows across the stucco, and you turned your head to look at Javi. His eyes were closed but you knew he was still awake, thinking even louder than you were. And your thoughts suddenly centred in on themselves, circulating in one question that you had been too scared to ask.

_What will you do after?_

His eyes open and you nearly jump, hoping for a moment that you didn’t actually say that out loud. Javi looks over, face half visible in the dim, “ _Chico_?” He brushes his knuckles across your cheek and you lean into the touch. As always, his skin is rough, but it feels better than anything else you can imagine. His fingers smell faintly of tobacco and you close your eyes as he continues to trace patterns along your face.

_What will you do after?_

The blankets shift as Javi moves, sidling up next to you so he can lay an arm around your waist. The movement is gentle and you pull him even closer, tangling your legs together. Here in the darkness, you always felt more exposed with Javi, and when your eyes drift open you can see the outline of his, watching. Maybe he knows when you’re thinking, as much as you know when he is. So you kiss him, just to feel him against you and not have those eyes asking _what?_ Javi sighs, a huff of breath through his nose, and kisses back, slow and soft. You wish it could always be this unhurried.

_What will you do after?_

* * *

**_Three weeks later_ **

Javi drives with a white knuckled grip on the steering wheel. He brakes hard and accelerates quickly, making you glance over in concern at every stop light. It had been clear that something had happened today; he’d had another meeting with Crosby and then spent the rest of the afternoon holed up in his office. You’d offered to drive, but Javi had brushed you off, sliding into the driver’s seat without another word. So you let him.

It had to be Pallomari. The cartel accountant had given his official testimony in court the day before and already it was all over every news station in Colombia. Neither the Americans or the Colombians had yet to put out an official statement, but it had been all anyone could talk about in the office. At least, when the higher ups weren’t walking by.

“I mean, are you really surprised?” Trevor had asked, chair swivelled around and leaning in on his knees like a conspirator, “If cops can be bought up why not the politicians?” There were some murmurs of agreement from the others, although who you didn’t know; you kept your back turned and focussed on your computer.

“Plus, Peña had to have known. Why else would he go to the trouble of hunting the guy down?” Your chair rattled as Trevor reached out with his foot and kicked your chair, “Huh? What do you think?”

“I think,” you said, not turning around, “That we should get back to work.” You weren’t too keen on spreading gossip around the workplace, nor were you interested on elaborating on Javi’s activities. Trevor had always been a little too interested in your supposed friendship with Javi and tried whenever possible to drive out details about his boss from you. Which, to Trevor’s frustration, you managed to dance around at every opportunity.

Trevor gave a small huff and swivelled back around, leaning in his chair, “Yeah, yeah, day’s almost done anyways.”

It was true, and although you didn’t let it show, you were eager to get out of the office. You were worried about Javi. Still worried, as you pull up to his building and he jerks the car into park. For a moment, it’s silent. Javi slumps back in his seat and scrubs a hand over his face with a low sigh. It’s the first sound he’s made since you got into the car and you angle your body towards his.

“I think you should talk about it,” you say.

“I can’t.” He doesn’t look in your direction as he opens the drivers door and climbs out of the car, slamming it behind him. Your shoulders droop and with a frustrated noise, you run your hand through your hair. This was the kind of mood you expected, but that didn’t make it any less difficult to deal with. You get out of the car and follow him up, until the door of his apartment is closed behind you and you can dump your bag on the floor.

Crossing your arms, you stand in the entry way and watch as Javi pulls a beer from the fridge. He catches your gaze and shakes his head, “I can’t, _chico_.”

“Javi, I know you’re not supposed to but,” you follow him to the couch, sitting down carefully next to him, “Who else? You can’t take on the world alone, _querido_.” Touching a gentle hand to his knee, you give it a squeeze, “Talk to me. Please.”

Javi looks up at you. Really looks at you, and you can see it in his eyes; the need to reach out. He clasps his beer bottle between his hands, undrunk, and you tilt your head encouragingly. Then he releases a breath and drops his gaze.

“We knew about Samper’s involvement with Cali.”

“We?”

“The American government.”

And Javi tells you all of it. The tapes, the rejected indictment, everything. He talks and he talks, about the set up trip into the jungle with the US senators, about a man named Bill Stecher who was with the CIA, about rescuing a witnesses wife from Communist guerillas only to have him killed in custody. He talks so much that the condensation on his beer dries up and the sky begins to dim outside. For the first time, you see the whole picture, a picture that before you’d only had fragments of, a picture that reveals a very different side to the work that you had been doing for years.

When Javi finally finishes, he leans back into the couch and takes a sip. You’re both silent, you trying to figure out exactly what you should say and Javi with an expectant look on his face. You lick your lips, “Oh, is that all then?”

To your relief, Javi chuckles, although it’s dry. “That’s… everything.” He puts the beer down on the side table and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes, “Absolutely everything.”

You let it roll around in your mind, still processing everything Javi had said. No wonder he’d been the way he had. Javi had been carrying the weight of this knowledge around every day, and alone. To be honest, you were surprised that he wasn’t worse off, considering. But now what? Clearly Crosby was done with the situation, ready to move on to the next identifiable problem, but Javi wasn’t. You could see it in the way that he was still thinking too.

“What is the DEA even doing here?” you ask quietly.

Javi pulls his hands down his face before dropping them into his lap, “That’s what I keep asking myself.”

Silence fills the room again, and you lean over to grab the beer bottle. You take a sip, the beer warm and stale, but it feels good to swallow something and you take another one before holding it out to Javi. “What are you going to do?” you ask. Javi looks surprised at your question, as if he hadn’t thought about it before. It’s getting dark enough that the room is barely visible, and you turn around to turn a lamp on. The yellow light casts a sharp shadow across Javi’s face when you look back at him.

“I… I don’t know.”

You reach out and take his hand, interlacing your fingers together. He holds on tight, as if you’re the only lifeline keeping him grounded. Rubbing your thumb across his knuckle, you open your mouth and then close it again. The thought felt too radical and for a moment, you try to push it away. But it weasels it’s way back to the forefront and you steel yourself when you next speak:

“People need to know.”

Javi jerks his head up sharply. You shift in your seat, straightening, “They do and I think you know it.”

“Don’t,” Javi puts the beer down and leans towards you, “Don’t do something stupid. Don’t make me regret telling you.”

You bite your lip, “I won’t, but,” you press your free hand on top of your linked ones, “You can.”

“I’m sure the DEA will love that,” Javi snorted and you shake your head.

“I’m serious, Javi. What has this job ever done for you except cause you grief?” You lift his hand and press your lips to it, feeling the warm skin against your mouth, “Just, think about it. You have options.”

“What about…” Javi pauses, eyes darting to the side, “…us?”

“I’m with you, no matter what.” You’re filled with a fierceness and you let it come through, gripping his hand tight, “If the DEA fires you tomorrow I’m on that plane with you. I’m not getting left behind this time.”

Javi’s eyes widen and you shake your head with a laugh, “Is that a surprise?”

“No, I just…” Javi trails off, and he reaches up to cup the back of your neck, “That’s a lot.”

“I know.” You give a small smile, “A change of scenery would be nice anyways.”

And then Javi kisses you. Light, unhurried, lips against lips. There’s something sweet about it and for a moment, all the stress and tension of the day melts away. Javi pulls back, still holding you hand tightly, “I’ll think about it.”

He thought about it for the rest of the evening, quiet and intense all through dinner, all through the soap episode you watched together, all the way up until you were standing in the doorway of the bedroom, leaning in the doorway. He stands by the window smoking a cigarette, staring out into the busy street below, still lost in thought. What he was considering, what options he was turning over in his mind, was a mystery to you, but you gently call his name.

“Coming to bed?”

Javi looks over his shoulder and then up at you. You raise an eyebrow at him. He sighs, and puts the cigarette out before walking over and taking you into his arms, “Later. Don’t think I can sleep right now.”

Slipping your hands around his waist, you press a kiss to his cheek, “Try not to stay up too late, _querido_.”

But he doesn’t join you in bed and you wake up to cold sheets. You blink away sleep, sitting up. You have a vague memory of Javi’s voice speaking lowly in Spanish, sounding like he was maybe on the phone, and the brush of a kiss on your temple. Pushing the sheets back, you make your way into the kitchen, your eyes falling to the piece of paper on the table. Another one of Javi’s notes.

_Gone to_ El Tiempo _. You’re right. See you at the office. - Javi_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on tumblr at mxartbotboy, come say hi!


	7. Enough

“Peña quit.”

Those were the first words out of Trevor’s mouth when you went in that morning, your bag still slipping off your shoulder as he spoke. Something flares up in your stomach, a mix of nerves and excitement, and you try to keep your voice level as you reply, “Oh really?”

“Yeah. First thing this morning.” Trevor leans in, resting his arm on his desk, “Strictly speaking, not official, but Stoddard saw the paperwork and of course couldn’t keep his mouth shut.”

“Apparently, neither can you,” you point out, sliding into your own desk. Trevor merely chuckles and returns to whatever he was supposed to be doing. Waiting for your computer to boot up, you give a sideways glance at Javi’s office, still dark.

Quit.

His note had left you feeling strange. On one hand, Javi was about to go to a newspaper and spill everything, apparently, and it would free such a load off of his shoulders. On the other hand, _Javi was about to go to a newspaper and spill everything, apparently_. You were secretly pleased that Javi had decided not to stick around until he was inevitably transferred or fired, instead choosing to leave on his own terms.

You realized, with a start, that perhaps you should be writing your own letter of resignation. The thought briefly terrified you. But what you knew, more than anything else, was that you had become complacent here. Your conversation with Javi had revealed that much. Too many things were going on behind the scenes of a system you were actively participating in. How long had you been turning your gaze away? How long had things been like this and you hadn’t noticed? You didn’t want to linger on those thoughts too long. You had to leave, that’s all there was to it.

The calmness of the morning didn’t last long. Whoever had interviewed Javi at _El Tiempo_ had decidedly not waited around to break the news, and the noon news cycle on the TV opened with a hard hitting interview with a DEA agent revealing that the DEA knew Samper was taking money from the cartels. Needless to say, not many people in the office were working; instead their attention was glued to the small television in the corner. You feigned interest, standing near the back of the group and only half-listening to the reporter as b-roll of the protests asking for Samper to step down played.

Movement flickers in the corner of your eye and you turn, chest lurching when you see who it is. Javi is standing outside the doors to the pit, staring in. He’s still wearing the same suit and tie as the day before and he looks like hell. His shoulders slope down, though, and there was a relaxed energy to his posture that made him seem taller. His eyes lock with yours, and a smile spreads across his face, almost giddy with how wide it was. You could barely contain a smile in return and with a last glance towards the TV, start towards the doors. Javi was already moving, turning to walk down the hall and you follow at a short distance behind, weaving through the morning traffic of people heading to their offices.

When the door to the file closet clicks shut behind you, you cross your arms with a raised brow, “Couldn’t even change, huh?”

Javi doesn’t even answer, merely stepping in and pressing you up against the door, sliding his hands up your chest and kissing you. You untangled your arms, tugging them out from under Javi and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him in tighter.

“How does it feel?” you asked quietly, lips brushing his as you speak.

He kisses down your jaw, resting his hands on your waist, “I’m exhausted.”

“Well that’s what you get for staying up all night.”

“I had to make sure.”

Javi suckles gently on the skin just above your collar and you tip your head back despite yourself. Much of his weight is leaned against you, and you can feel a slight tremor run through him. You’d felt it in him before, when he had too much caffeine and not enough sleep, and you peel him back off of you, cupping his jaw with one hand.

“ _Querido_ , go home and sleep.” Your foreheads touch and Javi’s eyes drift closed, his fingers clenching on your hipbones. You can feel him sagging in your grip and you straighten him up, pushing back off the door. “But take a cab, you’re not driving like this.”

Javi grumbles something unintelligible and you kiss him lightly before pulling your arms away.

“Come with me. Take me home.” There’s a slightly pleading tone in Javi’s voice that wrenches you right down to the base of your stomach, but you shake your head.

“Love, I can’t. Unlike you, I can’t just dramatically quit my job.”

“But…” Javi frowns, lifting a hand to curl it into your sleeve, “Together… you said…”

“What I mean is I’m giving my two weeks.”

Relief floods across Javi’s face, and his eyes flutter briefly before he scrubs a hand over his forehead, “Alright. I’ll– I’ll go.”

“I’ll see you at home,” you say softly and kiss him one more time before slipping out of the file closet.

The rest of the day drags on, the office full of chatter and gossiping about the interview. Of course, it doesn’t take a detective to figure out that it was probably Javi who spilled on the DEA, and nearly everyone can’t believe it or shut up about it. You keep yourself firmly out of it, although it’s hard when Trevor keeps peppering you with questions.

“What do you think? Did he seem like the type?” Trevor leans back in his chair, resting his hands behind his head, “Frankly, I’m not even surprised the government was in on it.”

“Doesn’t it bother you?” you ask, regretting the words even as they came out of your mouth.

Trevor looks over with a confused expression, “Doesn’t what bother me?”

You swivel your chair around, “The fact that the government knew that Samper had been bought out by the cartels and didn’t do anything about it.”

Looking thoughtful for a moment, Trevor lets his gaze drift up to the ceiling. “Well. I guess a little. But like I said, governments do this shit all the time. Not surprising.” And that was, shockingly, all Trevor had to say on that. It’s a relief when five o’clock rolls around and you can gather up your things and leave.

It absolutely warms your heart when you walk through the door to your apartment and see Javi’s shoes by the door. He’d come here, rather than go to his own place, and you try to stay as quiet as possible as you take off your things and close the door. The apartment is dim and you flick the kitchen light on, eyes landing on the closed bedroom door. For a moment, you stand there in the stillness, letting the events of the past twenty four hours wash over you. It had been… a lot. And a part of you feels tired as well.

Padding across to the bedroom door, you carefully turn the knob and open it, stepping into the bedroom. You can see Javi’s form curled up in the bed under a pile of rumpled blankets. Hearing soft breaths puffing out, you quickly close the door behind you to prevent the kitchen light from spilling in too much. You circle around, shedding your clothes as you do, and crawl into the bed, sidling up next to Javi. His body is incredibly warm, and you wrap your bare arm around his waist. He shifts, making a quiet grunting noise, and rolls over.

“‘ello,” he half murmurs, pushing his face forward into yours.

You stroke up the line of his back. “Sorry, did I wake you?” you whisper, letting him tangle your legs together.

“No.” His nose runs along your cheekbone, “Missed you.”

Javi smells like soap; he must’ve taken a shower before climbing into bed and you snuggle up closer to him, inhaling the fresh scent.

“Go back to sleep,” you say, letting your own head sink down into the pillow. But Javi has his own ideas, instead pushing his hands up your sides in a lazy exploration, lips searching out yours. You chuckle when he misses your mouth, only catching the corner and you peer at him in the darkness. You can barely make out his face, but you can feel his hands tracing circles into your skin and sending shivers down your spine.

“I already slept,” he finally replies, and his fingers move down your stomach. You suck in a breath and don’t get the chance to exhale before his mouth is on yours, finding his target this time. Shifting against you, Javi pushes you onto your back and pulls himself on top, pressing you down into the mattress. You instinctively wrap your arms around him, sighing into his mouth as his hands latch themselves into your hair. He’s kissing hard enough that his facial hair scratches into your skin, a pleasant burn combined with the wetness of his mouth. In the darkness, it feels like you spend an eternity kissing him, sliding your tongue against his while he draws lines on your face and scalp. It had been so long since you had both lingered like this, just enjoying each other’s touch without that familiar tinge of desperation that coloured so much of your sex. Instead, Javi slowly rolled his body along yours, moving his mouth to drag along your jaw and down your neck. You reach up to grasp at his arms, spreading your legs and shuddering when he sucks hard at your skin, drawing out a low moan from you. Hips rutting up, you can barely move under Javi’s weight, can’t do much more than take every languid movement punctuated by a kiss or a lick down to your collarbone.

“So fucking good,” he murmurs against your skin, pressing the words in with his lips, “You’re so good to me.”

Tugging his head up gently, you caress the side of his face, unable to make out more than the line of his jaw in the dim. “I’ll always be good to you,” you say back. Javi is silent and you give a gentle roll of your hips up, “Do you want me to be good to you?”

Javi groans at the feeling of your half hard erections rubbing together and he lets his head drop briefly. Sensing that you have your moment, you lift you legs to bracket his hips and with a heave, you flip your bodies around so you’re straddling his hips. Leaning over, you turn on the bedside lamp, filling the room with a soft, golden glow. Javi blinks beneath you, a bit disoriented from the flip, although his hands have found your hips already.

Placing your hands on Javi’s chest, you give another firm roll of your hips. The dazed look on Javi’s face only intensifies, his head tilting back into the pillow. The lines of his throat pull taut, enough that you can see him swallow hard when one of your hands slide down, skimming at the waistband of his underwear.

“You didn’t answer my question,” you say mildly, tucking a finger beneath the elastic. Fingers dig into your hips and then drag down your thighs harshly. Your cock throbs at the pressure, and you can’t help the shudder that runs up your spine. Javi’s skin is burning under your touch and his eyes are dark when he locks them with yours.

“ _Please_.”

It’s just one word, quietly groaned out, but it’s enough to spur you into action. With some shuffling, you tug down Javi’s underwear, his cock laying hard against his stomach, and you resettle across his thighs. Licking your lips, you push you palm up the underside, your other hand resting at the crook of his hip. Javi’s hips immediately jump into the touch, a soft, broken noise echoing from his lips.

“Don’t tease,” he groans out.

A smile flits across your face and you push yourself down, “Alright.” With that, you lift his cock up and spread your lips around him, sinking down as far as you can manage in one go. Javi chokes out a moan, his legs shifting around you. When you pull up, you let your tongue drag up until it’s just the head in your mouth, suckling gently. Javi stares with parted lips, pushed up on his elbows, golden and gorgeous. You pump his length, keeping your mouth just there with your tongue swirling under the head, and watch the way his chest rises and falls with each heavy breath. You love having him in your mouth, having him rest salty and thick on your tongue, and you close your eyes, sliding down again to take him deep.

“That’s– _ah_ –” Javi’s voice comes from above, wavering as you fist the base of his cock and bob your head, pushing him to the back of your throat and working him thorough and wet. When you open your eyes, it’s to the sight of Javi’s head fallen back, looking long and lean, gasping softly with every movement of your mouth. It’s enough to have you fully pulling off and crawling up the length of his body to curl your hand around the back of his neck and kiss him again. Your mouth is wet with saliva, but Javi doesn’t care, opening up for you and kissing back with a fervour.

Soft and then hard, then needy and then slow, the kissing comes in waves until you’ve forgotten how long you’ve been doing it, until when you pull back you feel heady and hot. Javi stares up hungrily, skimming his hands up and down your sides until he runs into your underwear.

“Take these off,” he murmurs, and you’re quick to slide them down, kicking them to the side. Before you resettle on top of him, you pull the drawer of the bedside table open and take out the bottle of lube, Javi’s eyes following you.

“What?” you ask, climbing back on top of him.

Javi reaches up and cups the side of your neck, “You’re just…” His thumb strokes the underside of your jaw and you shiver. A slight frown creases his brows, “Will you really move to the States with me?”

Your stomach twists. With a gentle touch, you grasp his hand and pull it away, turning it so you can press your lips to his palm. The skin there is rough; not as rough as it used to be in Medellín, but enough that it gives you the crazy thought that if you kissed it enough you could soften it.

“Javier,” you murmur, tilting your cheek into his hand and meeting his worried gaze, “I would go anywhere with you.”

Relief pours across Javi’s face and he pushes himself up, pulling you against his chest to kiss you and wrap a hand around the back of your head. You sling your arms over his shoulders, moaning into his mouth when his cock presses along yours. The friction makes your hips shudder and you rock into it, gripping tightly into Javi’s hair. His hand fumbles around next to you, likely for the bottle of lube you had dropped there.

“Wait, Javi–” you breath, pulling back even as his lips chase yours, “Let me–”

“I want to.” His voice rumbles against you, loud enough that you almost miss the click of the bottle, and you arch your hips back when Javi grips an ass cheek, spreading you wide. And then he’s kissing you again as a slick finger pushes in. A needy noise climbs up the back of your throat, swallowed quickly by Javi as his finger presses forward until he can curl it up just right. You jolt in his arms; you never get tired of the way Javi can spark arousal in you like this, the way he knows just how to slide his finger along your inner wall to make you breathless. A second finger joins, stretching you wider, and you tear your mouth away to dip your forehead down against his shoulder.

“Ah– _fuck_ ,” you bite out, pushing back into the little thrusts of his fingers. You turn your face into Javi’s neck, muffling the sounds coming out of your mouth, feeling his heart pound against your lips. Everything is so alive and present, and despite how good Javi’s fingers feel, you can’t wait anymore. Lifting your head, you push gently on Javi’s chest, easing him back down onto the bed.

“ _Now_ let me,” you say, situating yourself again as you squeeze some lube into your hand. Javi’s eyes flutter closed and all of the breath whooshes out of him as you take his cock, hot and heavy, and slick it up. He pulls on the back of your thighs, urging you up and over him until you can feel the head easing into your entrance. Like always, Javi’s thick cock stretches you like nothing else, and you struggle to control your breath and relax as you take him, sinking down slowly.

You’re both silent as you hold there for a moment, letting yourself adjust. Javi’s hands have found their way back to your hips, and you place one of your own overtop, squeezing lightly. And then you lift your hips, just a bit, and grind them back down, drawing out a long groan from Javi. You do it again, watching as Javi shakes beneath you. He’s clearly holding back, preventing himself from thrusting up into you, all of the tension focussed into his fingers digging harshly into your skin.

Continuing the slow pace, you run a soothing hand down his arm, “You feel so good, _querido_.” Leaning down just a bit, you suck in a breath at the new angle, but keep at it, slowly rolling your hips until Javi is dragging his eyes open and staring up with bare want.

“P-please, _chico_ , please l-let me,” he gasps.

You lower yourself all the way down, bracketing Javi’s head with your elbows and tipping your face in close, “Give it to me, love.”

That’s Javi needs to throw his arms around your back and start slamming up into you, driving the breath straight from your lungs. The harsh grip on your hips is now on your back, so tight you can feel the pull of his nails on your shoulder blade and ribcage. The angle is perfect, hitting your prostate and sending arcs of pleasure up your spine as you moan loudly.

“Yes, _yes, fuck, ah_ –” Javi can barely speak, the words caught between heavy pants and the slap of skin on skin. He must be close, already driven to the edge by your mouth and now being pushed forward as he thrusts up, clinging to you like a lifeline.

“Javi, Javi, _oh fuck, Javier_ ,” you gasp, your own completion rising up quickly too. Javi grunts, shuddering as his movements become uneven, and you feel his fingers scrape down your back. He thrusts up once, twice, and then he’s cumming, hard, moaning against your mouth as he pulls you in for a desperate kiss. You can feel his cock throb inside of your and that’s enough to push you over, your breathless moans intermingling with Javi’s as your orgasm washes through you.

As you both come down, you meld your lips to Javi’s and kiss him slowly, rocking your hips just enough to make you both whine. Javi feels so good and warm under you, despite the mess of cum spreading across both of your stomachs, that you don’t want to move away. So you lie there, drinking each other in until Javi shifts a little beneath you.

“ _Chico_ ,” he says quietly, pulling his hands away.

“Mmm, comfortable.” You nuzzle into the side of his neck and you feel the breath of Javi’s chuckle across your ear. Even as you say that, though, a slight movement from you pulls at the sticky mess, and you make a face, pushing yourself up, “Maybe not.”

Javi is smiling, and he brushes his knuckles down your cheek. There’s a warmth and a brightness to his face that you hadn’t seen in a long time, and it fills you with a joy that breaks out in a smile of your own.

“What?” he asks, searching your face.

“I love you, Javi.” Simple words spoken a thousand times between you, but this time you say it like the first. And you know it works because Javi’s smile widens, almost giddy, and you see the years melt off of his face.

“I love you too, _chico_.”

You want to kiss him again, but the drying mess on your stomach draws your attention and with a heave, you roll off of Javi.

It doesn’t take long before you’re both cleaned up and dressed, padding back out into the apartment where you busy yourself with dinner. Javi sits at the table, listening as you chatter away about the reactions in the office, quiet and thoughtful as you turn to pour the soup into two bowls.

“And Trevor wouldn’t stop asking me about you, obviously,” you say, bringing the soup over to the table, “It was like deflecting a boomerang.” You pause, and then sit down across from Javi, “Not going to miss that, I don’t think.”

He meets your gaze, relaxed and yet… Your hand reaches out for the empty spot next to your bowl and you blinks. “Spoons,” you say absently, pushing back.

“So you’d go anywhere, huh?”

You nod down to the drawer that you have open in front of you, fishing out two spoons. When you turn back and walk over to Javi, you hold out one to him when you respond, “Anywhere.”

Javi tilts his head and takes the spoon from you, “How does Texas sound?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, technically where I am it's still Friday so does it count as uploading late? :D Anyways, that’s the last main chapter! Short epilogue will be coming next week though :3
> 
> find me on tumblr at mxartbotboy, come say hi!


	8. Epilogue

“And then you just turn off the lights here,” Sally flicks off a set of switches, “And here. Don’t forget the second set.” She reaches around the corner and flicks off the second set, swathing the office in darkness. You nod, filing away the information in the long list of things to remember. Shifting the strap of your bag up higher on your shoulder, you follow Sally out, who closes the door and pauses.

“I suppose you’ll be needing this,” she says, holding out a key.

You take it and lift it up, raising an eyebrow with a small smile, “May I?”

Sally smiles back, her pink lips showing a bit of an overbite, “Sure, go ahead Mr. New Guy.”

Locking the door, you slip the key into your pocket, intending on attaching it to your keyring later. Despite the main office being closed now, the halls of Texas A&M University-Kingsville are still bustling, mostly with students. Some pass by slowly, chatting in small groups while other go whizzing by, late to their five o’clock classes. It’s a comforting change of pace, the buzz of activity filled with vigour and interest. It reminds you of your university days, and now being on the administrative side feels right, somehow.

Sally follows you down the hall, “So, how did you find all that?” You consider for a moment. As far as first days went, this one had been pretty good. Sally, with her bright shock of red curly hair and white cat eye glasses, had certainly been a welcome surprise. You’d always remembered the administrative assistants in university being grumpy, crotchety old women who had no patience and less humour. Sally, though, was an absolute delight and you were very relieved to find someone who didn’t mind your questions.

“I like it here,” you finally say, slipping your hands into your pockets, “I think this will be an easy office to manage.”

“Probably a bit different from where you were before, huh?”

You hold back the sigh that bubbles up. Of course, it had slipped out that you had worked for the DEA before this, and it had spread around the entire office before you had even been introduced. Some things never changed, you figured, but there was definitely a curiousity surrounding your time in Colombia. Naturally, many of the assistants found it entirely romantic, working at some far off embassy catching drug cartels, but you were short whenever the topic came up. Discussing it wasn’t something you were particularly keen on anymore. New things, and all of that.

Instead, you give a small shrug, side stepping a large group of students huddled in the centre of the hall, “I suppose. It’s nice here though.”

You and Sally chat back and forth until you arrive at the main entrance. Here, you can see one of the green spaces, scattered with some students laying out on the grass reading or talking, with the parking lot just off to the other side. Sally nods her head towards the lot.

“I’m parked just there. Do you need a ride?”

Shaking your head, you wave your hand, “No, no, my ride should be here shortly.”

You can tell Sally wants to ask, but she holds back; you haven’t gotten to know each other that well yet, and you’re frankly glad she doesn’t ask. Not yet, anyways.

“Well, see you tomorrow!” she says brightly, waving her own hand as she walks down the front steps. You nod and wave in return, leaning against one of the entrance pillars. It’s fresh and warm out still, and you close your eyes for a moment, letting the soft breeze of the late afternoon brush across your face. You’d forgotten what it had felt like to feel like this. Settled. You hadn’t realized how displaced you had felt in Bogotá, how impermanent things had felt. Maybe it was the nature of the work you were doing, maybe it was the switching back and forth between yours and Javi’s apartments, maybe it was the feeling of being away from a place you could call home. Speaking of…

Your phone buzzes in your pocket and you reach in, slipping it out and glancing at the caller ID. _Querido_. You flip it open and hold it up to your ear, “Hello there.”

_I’m here_ , Javi’s voice replies, _You done?_

“Just out front, I’ll come find you.”

You hang up without another word and start down the steps, adjusting your bag again. A small bundle of nerves starts vibrating in the pit of your stomach. You knew no one was exactly watching you as you walked down the main path towards the parking lot, but somehow the benches filled with students seemed very present at the moment. You turn off to the side, walking between two parked sedans and out into the lot. Scanning the vehicles, a smile tugs at your face when you spot it.

A dark green pickup, parked at the far end of the lot, with Javi leaning against it smoking a cigarette. He’s wearing a striking purple shirt that almost seems to glow from where you see it, tucked into his dark jeans pull over cowboy boots. You had teased him mercilessly when you had first seen him pull them on a few days after you had arrived in Kingsville.

“I needed boots for the ranch, _chico_ ,” Javi had pointed out, tugging them on and folding the legs of his pants down overtop, “Besides, Pops offered to get me a pair and I couldn’t really say no.”

“Texans,” you had merely said in reply, shaking your head and kissing Javi’s cheek.

Now, as you approach, Javi spots you and pulls the cigarette away from his mouth, straightening up.

“Ready?” he asks, circling around to the driver’s side as you walk up to the passenger door.

“You weren’t waiting too long?” you ask, sliding in next to him.

Javi shakes his head, sticking the cigarette between his lips and turning the truck on, “Nope, just a few minutes.” He stops and then turns, the truck rumbling beneath you, “How was it?”

“It was great.” You turn your gaze out towards the green, and the towering front entrance of the university, “I think I’m going to like it here.”

A hand settles on your leg and you look back at Javi. His eyes are half obscured by his aviators, but you can see the creases around his eyes as he smiles, “Good.” He gives you leg a small squeeze and then pulls it back to the steering wheel, shifting the truck into drive.

As you pull out of the parking lot, you settle back, watching out the window as the trees in the green rustle with the breeze, which had picked up. You rest your arm on the window pane, tapping a finger along the warm leather there.

_Let’s try this again_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, finished! This is probably the longest fic I have published to date, and boy was it a journey getting it done. I’d been visualizing and conceptualizing this particular fic in the Javist series for a while now so it feels surreal to have it complete.
> 
> This is NOT the end of the Javist series. Stay tuned for next Friday ;)
> 
> find me on tumblr at mxartbotboy, come say hi!


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